im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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