My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
50% drunk capacity currently
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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