Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
