He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I just googled if crying burns calories
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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