They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
