You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize