Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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