Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
