I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize