he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
