so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
