I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
