people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
