I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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