Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
