I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
