She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
