Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
