you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
