she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
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