Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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