I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
