So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
