I must be too annoying 4 u.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Randomize