guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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