Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
