K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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