She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
