that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
