I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
