and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
