Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
