My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
