WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
she looked like the before picture.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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