On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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