Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
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I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
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And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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