Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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