apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
She's not a foreskin expert like you
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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