at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize
