Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Less talking, more tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize