my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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