My brain says no but my pants say off.
I am spending my child support on dildos
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
