she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
