When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
