If i come over, it means nothing
nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
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