As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Houston, we have a squirter
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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