remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
