i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
