You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
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I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
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Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.