I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again