I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.