So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
