he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
