The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I just googled if crying burns calories
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
