He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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