I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
