so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
