Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
