capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize