I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
